i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
please come you make the beer taste better
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
