do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
