i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
