Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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