I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
