What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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