remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
