I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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