It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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