omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
