You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
