wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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