you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize