i need an iv and a liver transplant
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
