Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have fence marks all over my body
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
