You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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