And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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