I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
