I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
