every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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