like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
