I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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