Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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