You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
