I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
