Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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