it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize