I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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