i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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