i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME