My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero