Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.