what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
