Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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