i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
