he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You may now shotgun with the bride
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
