We got so high we made milksteak
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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