They should really pass out barf bags in church
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
