escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
