i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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