Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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