So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
