I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Randomize
