We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
