it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize