I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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