I want to walk on stilts...naked
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
