i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
