what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
