; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
