operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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