I forgot how hot balto sounded
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
