I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
