I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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