i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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