he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
where are my eyebrows?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
