Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
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Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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