Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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