She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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