honey bunches of taint.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
