You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
